I don’t remember having postpartum depression or anxiety like I have dealt with currently with my first 2 babies. This third has been challenging. But I look back and think how could this one be worse than my first. I had recently got divorced after only 6 months of marriage and had found out I was pregnant on my 20th birthday I cried ALOT. I was scared, I have so many doubts and fears going on in my head. I didn’t have the answers of how I was going to take care of a baby at age 20 ALONE. I am sure I dealt with anxiety and depression then, there is no way I didn’t. Back then I wasn’t mentally or physically fit and I just hid everything deep down. But I don’t understand why it is more challenging this time around with my 3rd, gosh I should know how to do this by now right? I am totally wrong, this 3rd baby was planned I have an incredible supportive husband that is the best dad to our kids, I have everything I could possibly imagine in life and yet I have been so UNHAPPY with life. I have not been myself and it has affected my relationship with my husband and kids. This is the definition of depression to me and it is truly something I have had no control of. I did have control over what I did each day though, I did have the choice stay in bed and be depressed, feel sorry for myself or get up, get ready, take care of me so I could take care of everyone else. I made a promise to myself over 4 years ago that I would make a lifestyle change, not just physically but mentally and emotionally too. That promise was that I would put myself first and take care of my health and happiness so I could be there for my kids and husband. I have NOT broke that promise, just 2 weeks postpartum with Nash I was feeling great and started yoga and slowly eased my way into a more challenging workout routine. Before I had Nash I had the PERFECT morning routine down it was my time ALONE to read personal development, meditate, workout, and just have some peace and quiet to myself. Then I had Nash and my world was turned upside down, I had 3 kids now, a husband and myself to take care of. I knew it would be tough, but I didn’t know I was going to become depressed and lose myself in a dark hole. I am definetely more aware of how I feel emotionally and mentally than ever before and I am positive this is why I am struggling more with anxiety and depression more this time around. I got to a really good place mentally where I loved myself unconditionally, I had a clear mind because I was taking the much needed time each day for JUST ME! The baby was a HUGE adjustment for the whole family, and when mom is not in a good place it seems like everyone gets down too.
I am so grateful for my husband, and my 2 older kids they have been so patient with me and my postpartum journey. I am here sharing this with all of you because I know SO many moms who deal with this but are SO afraid to talk about it, and get the help and support they need. I was there, I was embarrassed, I didn’t want to admit that I had something wrong with me. Especially depression and anxiety. I have been working as a pharmacy technician for 10 years and see every health issue out there, at my job we deal with a lot of mentally ill patients. So having to admit that I had some issues was SO hard but I am so glad I finally admitted to myself and my husband that it’s real and it is something that I am personally dealing with. I am personally against taking anything medications for my anxiety and depression, I understand some people truly do need that help professionally but I am one of the rare people that just refuse to rely on pills when I know what it takes naturally to feel my VERY BEST mentally and physically. So..here is the good stuff here is what I have been doing to overcome postpartum depression and anxiety naturally.
- Meditation / Journaling
- Personal Development
- Nutrition
- Exercise
- Being open and honest with myself and the people closest to me
These are non-negotiable for me to do EVERYDAY. Trust me when I say I wasn’t always this motivated or positive. If you know me very well, you know I was the MOST miserable person ever. I blamed my miserable attitude on other people and was very unhealthy and unhappy with myself. I am very grateful I am healthy enough to do these things daily. I am very grateful I have the love and support I need to get me through this tough time in life. I am very grateful for my incredible body, carrying 3 healthy babies that are my WORLD.
Depression and anxiety are so REAL! Don’t ignore the empty feelings, don’t feel embarrassed to feeling like you aren’t good enough. First step is admitting to yourself that you are dealing with this and then making the choice to get better. I am always here to chat if you need a friend, I understand how you feel and together we can get better and be healthy happy mommas that we deserve to be!!
XOXO,
Kylee
Kylee Canfield 